bloodredteardrop's Xanga

If this is true, I think I need help... lol

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 14:53:46 GMT

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	40%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	53%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Seduction, Love, and Vampires

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 20:41:49 GMT

I have graduated from high school, and I have enrolled in the College of Saint Benedict. Oh spiffy, right? I work as a hostess at a rather nice restaurant. It's okay, because I get money. I really wanted to work as a journalist at my local newspaper, but they gave the internship to someone else. I saw Cars last night. Adorable movie.

Writing is harder for me now. I don't know why, maybe it is because I haven't tried to write anything in so long. I miss it. Next poem I write, I'll post on here.

I've been dreaming a lot lately. I know that isn't too odd, but what I dream is true, but I just don't know it yet. Freaky, but I think I am. A Freak. :P Weird and unbelievable, but it's true! Oh yes, and I am eighteen now! Legal, ;). haha... I have been hit on so many times by creepy guys it is unbelievable, and a bit scary. I didn't go to the street dance because of what happened last year, and also, it was above the city bar! I have no idea why drunk guys flirt with me so much.

JULY 9TH will be amazing. You'll never guess who I'm going to go see. AFI!! Hell yes. The new CD, decemberunderground, is amazing. I adore it completely. Thinking about getting a tattoo with a few lyrics.

Love Like Winter is a fabulous song. Gorgeous.
Endlessly She Said. Beautiful.
The Interview is also a wonderful addiction.
37mm as well.

I adore you, AFI. <3 Sooo much.

I need new clothes. It seems as if all I have in my wardrobe are black shirts that I've had for years or work clothes [ie. long sleeves, not tight, granny clothes]. Someone give me a good, cheap place to shop. I need to save money for college. And I also need to start looking into loans. I'm poor. =( But I work a lot next week. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday. All night shifts. But this is the first week in a looong time that I get a Friday off. My sister and I might go see The Lake House. :]

Bought a book yesterday. The Vampire's Seduction by Raven Hart. My kind of book. It's alright so far, although quite sexual. But all Vampire books are. I also found yet another erotic horror book. They sound quite intriguing. Maybe I'll buy one someday. Twilight is still stuck in my head. Beautiful, awesome, spectacular book. Read it, if you haven't already. By Stephanie Meyer.
So enough of my rambling, I guess.

Until night.

.cherish me.

Thu, 09 Mar 2006 12:46:44 GMT

WARNING!
Beware of bad mood and tiredness. Please read at your own risk.

I went book shopping today. Bought Club Dead by Charlaine Harris. After my long, eventful, terrorizing trip to Perham. Drove my sister's friend home, and this friend failed to tell me the road to her house was shit. Mud, water, ice and slush. I almost crashed into the ditch so many times, and not to mention what the jeep looked like after. Green was turned into brown. Seriously. And they didn't even have the book I wanted at Pamida! *tear*

While reading my book, I thought of something. Women like to feel wanted. Loved. Cherished. Desired. Anita Blake - Loved by all of the men in her life. Merry Gentry - Plenty of love here. (Laurell K. Hamilton) Kelley Armstrong has love and caring in her books. Haunted, Bitten. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer. Maybe it's just the intimate relationships in the stories. And they make me feel lonely... I don't know.

As you can probably tell, I have somewhat of an obsession with vampires...

I found a book of Erotic Horror Stories. How entertaining is that? Should have boughten it, but I couldn't afford it. Needed to save five freaking dollars for a car wash. Grrr...

Choir calls to me after school tomorrow. Need to practice my duet for contest. Like I'll make it to state. Huh. I hope it's fun though. Singing is lovely. Band calls as well. At 6pm, to play for the basketball game. Oh joy!

It's Snow Days this week at school, so each day is a different theme. Monday was Retro Prom Day, Tuesday was Inside-Out Day, Wednesday was Biker/Occupation Day, and Tomorrow is Staff Dress Like Students/Students Dress Like Staff Day. I don't think I'll dress up... Friday is Spirit Day, but it's a given. It's always Spirit Day on Friday.

On a happy note, I wrote my first song on guitar! Yayness! It's pretty gothy and... bad. But I made it, so that alone makes it cool.

Maybe I'll post a clip of it if I can.

I have to go.
Past 1 am. Must sleep.

Happy Hauntings.
Sweet Dreams.

Cassiann

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sun, 12 Feb 2006 17:20:54 GMT

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.5
Mind:	6.3
Body:	5.9
Spirit:	8.8
Friends/Family:	5.7
Love:	2.1
Finance:	5.2
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

http://www.monkeyquiz.com/life/rate_my_life.html

Curious Faerie You are the Curious Faerie. You're always wondering
what's going to happen next, what's happened
before, that sometimes you miss what's going
on now. You can almost always be found with
your nose deep inside your latest book.
Wings: Black and dark blue
Power: Knowledge
Sexual appeal: You are a bookworm; sometimes
obsessively. But luckily for you, many guys
think this is very cute seeing as you can
sometimes be oblivious to what's going on
around you when you're wrapped up in a book.
Just don't let him talk you into doing his
homework for him.
What you look for in a guy: You aren't
really picky about what guy you have. You
want to discover as much about him as you
possibly can; no matter who your man is, as
long as he respects you, you will definitely
be a very close couple.

What kind of Dark Faerie are You? (Girls only with beautiful pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 03:29:51 GMT

I've been accepted into four colleges.
Concordia
Minnesota State - Moorhead
College of Saint Benedict
University of St. Thomas

I've also been offered scholarships.
Concordia - $7,000 (renewable for four years)
St. Benz - $8,000 (renewable for four years)
St. Thomas - $5,000 (renewable for four years)

Excellent, huh?
Now I just need to choose where to go. And I'm also sending an application to University of Minnesota - Morris... Someone help me decide where to go.

I have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. For Speech! I adore Speech so much. It's so weird since I'm such a shy person. I guess meeting people is fun for me. Although I'd rather read a book then be at a huge thing with tons of people I don't know. :P My speech is about Music, titled "Thank You Lullabies." Completely a rough draft, but everyone keeps telling me I shouldn't edit it. Maybe I will after a few meets. Performed today in front of JR. Kindergardeners. They were cute, but extremely annoying. One of the boys burped and I smiled at him. The boy sitting next to him decided he wanted to burp too so I would look at him. I thought it was so cute. Little kids can be such pains, but sometimes, they're adorable.

I was invited to a party, but I decided I shouldn't go. Not very safe and probably filled with alcohol and drugs. Ugh. Nothing too spiffy then being arrested by the cops for underage drinking and illegal drug use. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Not for me. My dad keeps telling me he isn't going to pay for my college. I'm so broke, it isn't funny, and I can't find a job at all. Pathetic. I had an interview at a grocery store and they never even called me back! Bastards.

Ever had an enemy you don't know how you got? Well, I have one of those, and it seems as if all they wish to do is hurt me. Like someone always having to tear down someone else to make themselves feel better. I think it's completely pathetic. I mean, sure, hate me all you want, just, please, insult me directly towards me. :P Grrr...

Should I spend my money on this dress:

http://www.arsenicfashions.com/blackvelvetlaceupdress.html

or not?

Off to sleep,
Goodnight!

<3 Cassi

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 10:10:01 GMT

2005

Throughout the Year
My long hair grew even longer.
I made many new friends and I made some enemies.
I almost completed my high school education. Yayness!
I learned to play more songs on the guitar.
I found new bands to love. (<3 Mindless Self Indulgence, Within Temptation)
My sister and I became closer friends.
I found out more about myself.
I found out I am still, and probably always will be, a dreamer and hopeless romantic.

January
- made New Years Resolutions
- joined Speech (for the fourth year :P)

February
- forgot my New Years Resolutions
- dyed my streaked red hair purple

March
- dyed my purple hair black
- went to the Taste of Chaos Concert in Minneapolis

April
- went to prom ALONE (oh no!) *it was tremendous fun!*
- someone asked me to dance, for the first time

- won a VHS/DVD player during the After-party
- took the ACT (my score sucked, but I never want to go through that again. eeep!)

May
- turned a spiffy 17

- ended 11^th grade
- one more year until my high school graduation

June
- performed in marching band
- purchased a webcam

- discrete trips to perham with friends

July
- performed in marching band
- cast in the play, Twice Upon A Time as Slug

August
- performed the play Twice Upon A Time
- passed my driving test!
- we got the pretty puppy Willow!

September
- became a senior, finally! (last year of high school!)

October
- went trick-or-treating as a butterfly ^^

- cast as flower girl, Flora and Jackie Pierce, star manager in the musical, Groovy!
- didn’t get to go to the HIM concert :(

November
- performed the school musical, Groovy!
- broke off my “online relationship”
- bought my first corset top

- prepared my different college applications

December
- straight A’s on my report card!
- was excepted into College of Saint Benedict and Concordia College
- received a scholarship to Saint Benz for $8,000
- became stage hand for the one act play
- joined choir

This year I hope to
- believe in myself more
- make more friends
- develop more in my faith
- graduate with honors
- go to the perfect college
- continue with my art and writing
- do something magical

younger me -- 13-14

me today -- 17

I wish you all a beautiful and wonderful 2006!
Happy New Year!

Monday, December 26, 2005

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 08:12:07 GMT

Merry, Merry Christmas!

Today was a boring, but wonderful day. I was hoping I would get a cellphone for Christmas, but I didn't. Oh well. I'll buy one when I'm in college if I don't get one for graduation.

So, these are the items I received from Father Christmas:

my lovely and awesome armwarmers, which are comfortable even with the metal. I want to buy more of them.

my completely stunning faux snake skin purse. I utterly adore it. <3

my gorgeous jacket. On the sleeve is embroidered peacock feathers and embroidered on the back is a huge falcon-like bird with beautiful feathers. It's gorgeous.

two pairs of extremely soft and fluffy knee socks. Very warm and really comfy. I'll wear them all the time!

new makeup kit. The colors are mostly reds and purples. Yay!

my beautiful HIM earrings. heartagrams. Aren't they lovely?

my wonderful butterfly earrings. Shiny, awesome, and gorgeous.

and of course, my book. Memoirs of a Geisha It's in theatres now I believe, or it will be soon. I have started reading it, and it isn't a book I normally would read, but so far, it is very good.

sugarcult - palm trees and power lines. this was my cool gift from Katie.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas filled with joy and happiness.
Until next Christmas!

Love,
Cassi <3

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 05:03:12 GMT

I want to get lost in a magical land. I want to mean something. I want to do something no one else ever has. I want to be someone's everything. I want something mystical. I want something unreal. I want to meet someone who will save me. I want to be healed. I want to hear music never before heard.

I want something magical to happen to me...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I live too much in what isn't real.
I have too much imagination.

I saw The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Spectacular, phenominal, magical, and perfect. Just watching it you can see all of the awesome symbolisms in the movie. It was one of the coolest things ever, being able to understand something like that. The characters were brilliant and mystical. The unicorn was wonderful...

...and I think I might be completely in love with Mr. Tumnus. <3

Monday, December 12, 2005

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 04:52:39 GMT

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Break her heart.
Let her down.
Make her cry.
You love her right?
Everything is fine.
Hold her hand.
Lead her on...
it's no big deal...
SHE'S JUST A GIRL

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 02:35:11 GMT

Thanksgiving was fun. I had a feast and home and at my grandparents house.

My dad let me go into Barnes and Nobles Bookstore, the actual store. :P It was huge and awesome and wonderful. I'm such a nerd, but I am completely in love with all books. I bought "Haunted" by Kelley Armstrong. I've already started reading it. Absolutely wonderful.

When we came back we stopped at the mall in St. Cloud. It was my first time in an alternative shop. I bought a new corset. I adore it. <3

It doesn't look as good on webcam, because it's too dark.

For one of the first times I'm actually realizing how many people actually care about me. It's refreshing...but...

I've never felt this terrible before.